Thursday, February 19, 2009

Why do people say these things?

Yesterday, I took my happy self on up to the mall to Mother.hood after deciding that I needed some sleep bras. As I stood there looking at the lacy contraptions, the sales lady asked me if I needed some help. Certainly, I am looking for your MOST comfortable sleep bra that you carry. Oh, are you expecting? Nope, I just like shopping in your overpriced maternity store. "Yes, I am." Oh when are you due? "August but my doctor said I'll probably have them in July cause we are having twins" Hysterical laughter and a slap on my shoulder, followed by "OMG, better you than me cause, one is bad enough, OMG I can't imagine 2!" WTF lady? Ummm.... if that wasn't the only maternity store in a 25 miles radius I would have walked out, but nope I still needed the freaking sleep bra.
I don't get why people feel this urge to laugh or say something when you say you are having twins.
1. Most people don't know what we went through to get these twins, so really I am happy to be pregnant at all, especially with more than one.
2. You having a baby and then getting pregnant and having them 11 months apart is NOT at all like having twins!! You were pregnant twice and didn't have 2 infants born at the same time.
3. It is not "double trouble" or whatever you think of cute.
4. The famous "Better you than me!" Yeah I know- Thank God I am even pregnant!
5. "OMG I don't know how you are going to do it" I will somehow, maybe with less sleep than you!
6. Did you want twins? See #1 and#4
I have not for a second thought that this was going to be easy. I realize twins are going to be some extra work. The thoughts of:
Are we going to be able to pay them both enough attention?
What about feeding them at the same time?
Can we give them both the same amount of time and attention?
Are we going to be able to love them the same?
Is one of them going to feel neglected?
I just don't get why people say these things to you. Usually followed there after with some twin horror story or worse their own labor/birth horror story, like "I ripped and had 22 stitches" or "My breasts became so engorged, it was almost as bad as labor" Or "I had a c-section and I got a horrible staph infection and almost bled out and died" Somehow these things don't make me feel better. I can't figure out why, but it doesn't make me any more relaxed or confident.
I haven't gotten "OMG twins- how exciting. You must be thrilled"!


Anonymous said...

OMG Courtney....people can be so rude!!!! Sometimes they just don't know what to say!! Twins will be fabulous!!! Some people don't understand that all we really want is a healthy baby!! After we found out we were having our second girl....we heard so many comments about...didn't we really want a boy? or you'll have to try for you get a boy!!!! We are thrilled with our beautiful daughters!!!! IF we do decide for one more....I would be just as happy with either sex!!!
Your twins will be adorable..and you will give them both the attention they need!!!! Positive thoughts only!!!

sarah said...

I have NO idea why :

1) trying to get pregnant
2) being pregnant
3) having small children

all seem to be an open invitation for people to make stupid comments.

Two babies!!! <---- THRILLED! :D

I highly suggest MM's nursing sleep bra, very comfortable!!

Kate said...

Well I'm thrilled and I know you are too!!! You guys are going to be wonderful parents, so calm down - the babies will be more than adequately loved and cared for!

Kerri said...

Well girl you know I am thrilled for you and a little jealous. We all know how badly I want twins.. I think it is a HUGE BLESSING and the GREATEST GIFT GOD CAN GIVE after everything you have gone through to get here. I can't wait to see more pictures and find out what your having...hehe....

Sarah said...

Courtney honey, people are stupid and insensitive. Try not to take it to heart. I know, its easier said than done. But if you keep in mind that the person that has made the offending comment, is STUPID it might help.

And you're having twins!!! Thats so exciting!!

Steph said...

It's amazing to me that people feel they need to comment on your situation as if they have a clue. If someone were to tell me they are expecting twins, my words would be, OMG twins, how exciting! But that's coming from an infertile so I guess I'm more sensitive than the average moron. I'm all for suggestions, but please people, only happy thoughts and positive reinforcement wanted. Sorry you had a crappy experience!

Kerri said...

Courtney *HUGS* We love you and are SO thrilled you are pg and with twins!!!!!!!!! Twice the bang for your buck in this case :D

KandiB said...

Twins! OMG! How exciting! I'm being truthful and honest. I'm totally jealous. I've always thought twins would be so fantastic, especially in the world of IF where we never know if we're going to get a shot at a second child.

It will all be fine! You're going to be great parents and these babes are super lucky to get you!

People just like to "one-up" each other. Make "conversation."