Friday, October 31, 2008

Huey, Dewey, and Louie

I went in Weds and had 3 eggs- 13,12, and 11. My friend nicknamed them Huey, Dewey, and Louie. And everything was going nicely then- nice uterine lining, etc.

Then, I went in this morning to visit with my long lost friend the u/s wand. Good news.... uterine lining looks good and is growing well. Huey is a whooping 19mm, Dewey and Louie are 17 each. WOW- they grew fast!! So one last dose of Follistim to mature those follies up and another dose of the Ganirelix. Which I do not like the Ganirelix- it burns and itches and makes my skin "bubble" at the injection site! OUCH!!

And last but not least they found that I have another follie:

Daphne. She is pulling up the rear at a good old 11 or 12- I can't remember what they said now!

Holy shit 4 eggs!! Maybe one of these wonderful eggs would like to become my baby or babies! Whichever! I will take whatever I get and be happy!!

So it appears that we will have an IUI on Monday!!! Dr Never Smiles was very positive this morning and she made me feel like THIS could be it! Ok by me!! My belly looks as if I am a junkie and that I am shooting up in my BLOATED ass belly. I am bruised and have all kinds of pin sticks! Oh can I please just get pregnant now! I have conquered my fear of needles and I have tried to learn patience! I feel like 2 lessons are good to have mastered during this process!

Well no trick or treat for me tonight- got suckered into working at the restaurant as I "don't have any kids"- Thanks for the reminder. Gave me all kinds of warm fuzzy feelings.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

And We're Off....

I am officially in the race... I mean study.

I went yesterday to have CD 3 blood work and an ultrasound (u/s) done. It took longer than expected, but I did get a gift bag full of meds that made all the waiting worth it. I should have said "trick or treat" cause it was a baggie full of some good stuff- a Follistim pen, needles, a 600 IU cartridge of Follistim, and 3 Ganirelix shots! I'll take that bag any day instead of having to call Success Meds with my credit card in hand- I'll be your guinea pig.

I am in group 2 of the study- which means I take the Follistim prescribed ( right now it is 75 units until I go back Wed morning for an u/s and more blood work) and when my follies get to 13mm I will take the Ganirelix until the follies reach 18-20 mm and then I do the HCG trigger to stimulate ovulation. Then IUI (inter uterine insemination) and some good ole fashion timed intercourse! Yeah! What man doesn't love to hear IUI?? Cause mine was like- what's wrong with us going home? Hmmm... cause that's the study's rules.

Last night was my first Follistim injection, which is funny now but not so hilarious at the time. First off, Bobby looked like he was going to "stab" me, he was holding the pen like a dagger, which freaked me out. He "scraped" the needle across my tender skin of my belly and caused me to bled like a stuck pig. THEN after he delivered the med- he went to cap the needle and stuck himself! Dumbass. Thank God it was me and not some crackhead in the ambulance! Ughh! Of course, he tells me he has never accidentally stuck himself before, but I am just glad it was my needle and not someone with HIV or Hep C. I teased him the rest of the night asking him- who's ovaries we going to grow better eggs- his or mine!! He didn't think that was funny. Hopefully, tonight will be uneventful as I will be giving it to myself for the first time.
No side effects from the Follistim last night- which after taking Clomid and getting hot flashes almost immediately, I am happy to have slept all the way through the night!
On the diet front-I lost 2 more lbs!! That makes 48 lbs total!! SO close to my goal of 50 lbs. Will I lose 2 more lbs before I get pregnant... I don't know...only time will tell.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Right on time for a change

For the first time in the last 18 months, I cried from joy when I saw AF!! It was right on time and I makes my Friday appt for CD 3 (cycle day) an actual event that can happen! I can't believe my body actually listened for a change!! I love bc pills!! It made things very timely! I am so happy!!
For right now, I am enjoying the quiet going on in my ovaries. No O pain, no twinges, just nothing. I realize in a few days all of that is going to change and I am starting to get really nervous/anxious about starting these meds. I know that Follistim and Ganirelix is going to put alot of stress on my body, and I am not sure how the hormones will affect me. But I am still going to do it!!
I need some good meds and lots of good vibes! Hopefully **fingers crossed** this is it!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Science Experiment Part 1

I am about to become a Lab Rat. And even though I am nervous- I am excited about this prospect.

Friday was my post op appt with Dr Never Smiles. She said that during the laparascopy, they removed a fibroid on the outside of my uterus. They also removed 2 small spots of endometriosis- one of one my ovary and she didn't say where the other one was. She said they found a very small calcified endometriosis spot and they removed that and then called my uterus "beautiful" and said the hysteroscopy was "normal". About time something was! Also said that the tubes were open and my ovaries had some cysts but they were not severe (my question- why not go ahead and remove the cysts while they were already in there? I don't know I am not a medical doctor- just an idea) Anyway, so all is good and clear in there and although I have poly cystic ovaries- I do have a beautiful uterus! Ahhh.....

The best part of the whole appt was the offer of being in a study at Jones for women with PCOS and who ovulated on Clomid but did not get pregnant. Which that would be me! So in this study I will use Follistim and Ganirelix. I would be randomly put into a group within the study, so one month I do both drugs the next cycle just Follistim or vice versa. But it is all random and rotates with each cycle. I hope to only do one cycle but I am not getting my hopes up like I did when I started Clomid, now I am more realistic and cynical I guess. But that is neither here nor there. The best part of being in this study is that the pharmaceutical company pays for the drugs!! I can't believe it!! The only part we will have to pay for is IUI- if we choose that route- my thought is we might as well. So I am all excited- free meds!! It doesn't get any better than that!

So since I should have started a new cycle this weekend or Monday, Dr Never Smiles gave me 2 more days of bc pills so that I would start my new cycle on Weds so that Friday would be CD3 and just in time for me to get into the study and be all ready to go!! So here's to Friday! (insert the clinking of the wine glasses here)

I also had a great time with my in-laws and it was an awesome weekend as usual when I am with the family. I am just ready to rest since I ran all week! Whew!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Gettin' Ready for the In-laws

I have to admit I love my in-laws!! I know it is crazy- but I am truly happy that I married into this family and that we all get along so well. Which is pretty amazing. But I think it is really because we spend a lot of time with these:

Just kidding. Bobby's family and I spend a lot of time relaxing and the motto is "It is 5 o'clock somewhere". You can hear at least 10 times during a weekend get together- "I am on vacation". Those seem to be the theme to our lives, if only to excuse the fact that we have eye openers- Mimosas or Bloody Marys or Baileys in your coffee. And I don't even drink coffee, but if it has Bailey's then it makes it better, right? Before we move onto beer and then cocktail hour before dinner, wine at dinner and then after dinner drinks, while we play cards- which is a family tradition. So, since I am not pregnant then I get to enjoy one last Hoorah with my in laws!!

So in preparation for the arrival of my in-laws, I spent the weekend with my best friends- Mr Clean, Swifer, Pledge, Lysol, and Scrubbing Bubbles. I bust my ass cleaning before my in-laws come every time. I wipe off anything and everything in my house. I literally clean stuff that most people don't clean. I not only dust and do the normal stuff- I get on my hands and knees and scrub my baseboards and wash the windows. I wipe down all the cabinets with Murphy's Oil Soap. I bleach out my trashcans and recycling containers. I also wash every single glass in our bar and wipe off every liquor bottle we have. I don't know why- since some of you know that I keep my house in immaculate condition- but still I give it the white glove test before my in-laws come. I know they probably don't even notice but still, it is part of my self diagnosed OCD.

I must have done 20 loads of laundry- sheets, towels, and all the throw rugs in the house. Not to mention just the normal laundry. I feel like I worked in a hotel this weekend!! I did all this to turn around and do it again on Sunday after they leave since I can't go back to work with the house not straighten back up! I am a weirdo- maybe I need to see someone about this obsession to have everything be "fresh" before company arrives. 'Cause I do it no matter who is coming- even when it is my family!!

But the most exciting part is that this will be my family on Saturday at Busch Gardens!

I get to ride all the rides!! Since I am not pregnant and all! I can't wait cause seriously- I want this to be the last time I get to go to Busch and ride the 'big kid' rides. I want to go and play with my kid(s) in the "Land of the Dragons"! So I am going to drink my way around the park and ride all the rides that have the warning: "Women who are pregnant should not ride" I will make that sacrifice!
My post op appt is Friday at lunchtime and my in-laws arrive in the afternoon. And by my bc pill count- AF should start over the weekend so at my post op besides finding out what they did during the surgery- I am going to find out about this Follistim cycle we are getting ready to start! Yee Ha! I am so ready so that I can end my last Hoorah with a BANG- a BFP!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Take some Vicodin and call in the morning!

Oh my goodness, does my belly hurt!! I didn't think that Laparscopy was going to hurt this bad.

Anyway- the surgery went well, well at least what I hear from Bobby and my mom. I wish they wouldn't talk to others and they would talk to you! Wait until I am awake and then tell ME!! Geez! It is my ho-ha you went in there and poked and prodded with metal objects! It is the least they could do! So from what Dr Never Smiles told Bobby and Mom, she found some really small fibroids (no big deal and removed them), she also found some Endometrosis (didn't think I had that- but I have had everything else so why not?), and she didn't find any blockages and my uterus wasn't as asymmetrical as the HSG showed. They also did an HSG again- Thank God for anesthesia!! It hurt the first time so I am glad I was asleep for the round 2!

So why are we not getting pregnant? 'Tis the million dollar question now. I think Bobby is FINALLY feeling some of my frustration, every time I turn around it is something else. He showed some true emotion today about this TTC journey. He was angry that they didn't find anything during the surgery to cause the miscarriages or why we aren't getting pregnant now. He wants his questions answered now. Hmmm.... I have been wondering this for 18 months, and NOW he finally wants some answers. Sucks to not get your way. He is also pissed that my post-op appt is next week. Why are they waiting so long to see us he wants to know! I thought next week was pretty good.

So now I will wait until next week to see the images from the Laparscopy and Hysteroscopy. In the mean time I ope my belly heals quickly as I do not like just laying around. I still have 4 more lbs to lose before I get pregnant!! So I need to get up and about soon!

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes!! Now on to getting up and about so we can get pregnant already!! Sorry I am not more lively- I am just doped up and my belly hurts!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Happy Birthday to me!!

My birthday is really tomorrow but I know there will be no blogging!! Ok- really I hate my birthday which usually really makes my family irritated with me, but let me give you some history on me. The first reason I hate my birthday is because my dad died the day after my 16th birthday. I spent my sweet sixteen in the hospice unit in the local hospital. Not that I didn't want to be there because I love my dad and we wanted to be there- Just piss poor timing if you ask me. I do have to admit the nurses had told my mom he wouldn't live through the day so she sat there all day and told him "Tom, it's Courtney's birthday". So he did live through the day and the hospices nurses went out and bought me a cake and we had my party right there in the hospital. Not ideal but I still had my family. I know my dad wouldn't want me to dislike my birthday for that and him dying so close to my birthday is not the real reason I dislike my birthday so much. My true reason for hating my birthday is that I "age" another year!! I don't like being another year older- I know it beats the alternative but still. After I turned 21- it is like they just make you "old" and there isn't any really good birthdays to look forward to again. My husband really gets mad at me around my birthday as I start whining that I am turning another year older. I just don't like being another year older- I told him that it really means I have been on Earth for almost 33 years!! Shit- I haven't even officially turned 32 yet!! Ughh!

But to give you some info since I have been a slacker this week. I went for my preop appt with Dr Never Smiles on Weds. She went over what we were going to do and asked if I had any questions. I informed her that my only request was that under NO circumstances was she allowed to do a hysterectomy on me!! I also told Bobby that as well. Dr Never Smiles informed me that she wouldn't be performing that on me so to not worry! Since I will be asleep I just wanted my case known before hand- you know like being an organ donor or something! They also drew some blood and gave me some prescriptions. I don't have any infections and hemoglobin is "normal" so surgery is still on. So Tuesday it is!!

Last but not least! The most exciting part of the weekend for me is that my wonderful and awesome husband got us tickets for the Virginia Tech football game this weekend for my birthday!! Besides a baby- he gave me the best present!! I love watching my Hokies play football and it is even better when I get to watch it there!! In the full beauty of the stadium and the smells of the stadium food and hear the crowd and ... ahhh I am in love! It is simply the best gift he could have gotten me!! He does love me!! I know he doesn't quite enjoy it as much as I do- but he knows how much I love it!! I can't wait to go and be there!! It is also Homecoming to boot!! He is really the best husband ever!! GO HOKIES!!! Happy Birthday to me!!! Let's Go Hokies!!! Win big for me- it is my birthday after all!!