Friday, September 26, 2008
Yesterday, she called me and left a message on my cell phone and sounded annoyed that I didn't answer her call- hello I am a teacher can't answer my cell in the middle of the day! Duh. Anyway, she left me a message in a very annoyed tone that Dr Never Smiles told her to schedule my surgery for next week or the following week! Ha, I told you 2 months was too long to wait! So it is scheduled for Oct 7th at 6:30 am (they didn't ask me if that was a good time since they obviously don't know that I am NOT a morning person)! But I will be there with bells and whistles, well more like just showered and teeth brushed since it will be the butt crack of dawn! When I called her back she wasn't at here desk and instead of sounding annoyed, I left her the sweetest message ever about how I appreciated her hard work in getting me a date for surgery that was earlier, blah blah blah. When she called me back- her attitude had changed. You do get more with honey than vinegar!! I did learn something from my mom!
Surgery scheduled at 6:30 am Oct 7th!! Which is only a couple days after my dreaded bday! Oh well! Other than that- nothing new here except I am enjoying only taking a few pills this month- even if 1 is a bc pill!
Oh, I forgot to tell you- I made Dr Never Smiles laugh!! Yes laugh!! Her and her nurse laughed at my comments! Mission accomplished at Jones- well half way- they still need to get me pregnant!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Full of twists and bumps and road kill! Some people get to exit off early, others have to keep driving- like on the road cross country or something! So I am on my cross country adventure to be with child or children- whichever!!
No use in sugar coating it any more for myself, I have accepted reality that it is only going to cost more and more for me to get pregnant and then we won't have any money to raise our wee ones. But they will be loved and wanted!! Who needs clothes when you have love? We have 8 tomato plants in the backyard- we'll live on tomatoes and love!!
I called the Jones Inst. yesterday and the nurse I love was out sick!! She sounded fine on Friday when I talked to her! Ha! The other nurse that called me back had no idea what was going on with me so I just made my appt to see Dr Never Smiles and I will go about my merry way! I do have to drive over to the other side of the water to see her, which takes about an hour, but it will be worth it!! I want her to tell me what we need to do!! She is MY dr however and I feel very comfortable with her!
So there you have it- a play by play! Next step u/s tomorrow afternoon! Hopefully, Clomid did not overstimulate me- like it has before! If I need to move on then I need to not be overstimulated!! No grapefruit sized ovaries here please!! Need nice, regular sized ones please!! I have been a good girl and done everything the drs have asked of me- so body give me a break please!! I just want a normal u/s and a go ahead to do something!! I want a baby belly already!! Sheesh!! What's a girl gotta do around here to get knocked up?
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
So I am not any closer to a baby than I was yesterday! Damn it!!
Good news- Hopefully this was all for nothing- I am testing in the morning 14 dpo (days past ovulation)- need lots and lots of prayers for a HEALTHY BFP this time!!! I want a HEALTHY baby in my arms!!! I hope all my planning is in vain! PLEASE!!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Let's call this person "Susie"- Susie and I know each other, we are not exactly friends but we talk on occasion and she KNOWS we are going through fertility treatments and that I have been ttc for quite some time now.
So Susie casually tells me she is pregnant (Great for her I am truly happy for people when they tell me they are pregnant- it is a miracle) and then in the same breath says "And we are NONE too happy about it" Thankfully I used my acting skills and I didn't look as appalled as I obviously am as I stand there with an empty womb and I would just about do anything to have a child in my arms. I tried not to envision myself bitch slapping her - but I did. I try to teach the kids at school that violence is not the answer and they have told me that sometimes it is- I see their point now. Then proceeds to say how she was on bc ( birth control)! Holy shit, I haven't tried that but maybe I need some bc to get pregnant- I'll ask Dr. Never Smiles about that at my next RE (reproductive endocrinologist) appt. She might smile at me then!! ( J/K she does laugh/smile at me- who doesn't I ask?) Maybe she'll write me out a script for some good ole bc for me to get knocked up!! I mean shit we have tried alot of things so far- but bc wasn't one of them. And to top it off -then tells me that I will be able to help her get through this. With what my knowledge on how to get pregnant and your menstrual cycle? I don't know what happens when you are pregnant- never made it through the first trimester myself. But alas, I must be that person that looks like I give 2 shits.
My thought for this is- why the fuck would you tell someone that you know is going through fertility treatments that you are not too happy about being pregnant?? I would chop off my arm and give away my kidney to have a baby! I use to want a passel of kids- now I will be happy if I can just get one and bring it home from the hospital with all ten fingers and toes! I mean can people be any more inconsiderate? I actually already know the answer because I know that people have said worse. Like "just relax" or "I didn't do any of those ovulation thingies you are doing and I got pregnant, stop wasting your money on that stuff" " I just stopped thinking about it" "Are you propping up your feet on the headboard after sex?' "Maybe ya'll should go on vacation" (we went on a cruise to Alaska, any more relaxed and I would be dead- but still not pregnant)
The careless comments about maybe stopping the treatments is one I really enjoy too. Goes along with the whole "I didn't use all those pee sticks and I have 3 kids" well that's great cause Dr Never Smiles and Dr Austrian I am sure are wrong in treating me for infertility since I am apparently fertile if I would just relax and stop trying so hard.
So my thanks is to Cindy- she has helped me see the humor in ttc and that if we don't laugh we would all go insane! (I also borrowed this video clip- have to it fits)
I know I must be wasting my money at Jones Institute since I have had so any people tell me how to get pregnant "I should just relax". damn I should have thought about relaxing- I don't know 17 months ago.... but I think I will go relax now and see if that results in me being with child!!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I also think that these drugs actually make the insanity plea plausible. Don't tell Bobby- but I think these hormones can make you say just about anything plus they make me a little more sensitive than usual. I am more likely than not to lose it while I do just about anything, driving is the big thing right now. I know that I have road range and I am flipping people off left and right here lately. My patience is null and void right now. Why you say? I don't really know but I think it is from the hormones induced by drugs, these drs are like pushers they have you hooked thinking that this concoction of drugs will help you succeed in getting pregnant. So any infertile knows- you will try almost anything to achieve that dream! I am fully admitting that I will try pretty much anything to get pregnant! I have heard some 'good' advice on how I can get pregnant- but I'll save that for another blog.
I guess besides being sweaty and hormonal, my next biggest complaint from these drugs that are suppose to help get me pregnant and maintain a pregnancy is that I am tired of being tired! Since I become an enraging inferno mostly at night, I throw off the covers and sit up and turn the fan up higher and I wonder what people did before a/c. And if I am lucky I will fall back asleep only to awaken shivering as I am freezing after all the sweat has dried and I have no covers on, BTW not complaining about being cold just that I am awaken AGAIN. So usually this happens several times through out the night. Which if you know me then you know that I love my sleep!! I can sleep on demand if need be, always have- right now not so much. I love sleeping in on the weekends and during the summer- one of those things I am trying to enjoy before I have kids and they get up early. But I hope they take more after me in that aspect and will enjoy sleeping in.
Ok enough of my grumbles about the side effects- but if I tend to be testy now you know why. It is all kind of bundled into one big cause- Hormonal Drugs!!
So I guess I need to warn some that may read here that there is no bars held here. Whenever and whatever I feel like saying I will and that includes the words that I have learned from the kids at school! So sorry in advance but I can be vulgar and graphic- can't help it- it's the hormones!!
Great day- Virginia Tech beat Georgia Tech!! YAY!! I love my college football! Go Hokies!!
Friday, September 12, 2008
I am very open and honest with pretty much anybody and everybody about the "Trial and Tribulations of my Hoo-Ha" especially now that I think everyone has seen it- well as long as they are wearing a white coat!
I am starting this blog in the hopes to relieve some of the tension off of myself and to give you some behind the scenes footage of infertility treatments. Hopefully, with some luck and good ole fashion sperm meeting up with the egg, I will achieve pregnancy and then I can rant about that for 9 months!!
The infertility issue we have is with my ovaries and me. I was diagnosed in February with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and some pretty wacky and weird stuff that was going on with my body. So PCOS means that I am anovulatory (not ovulating or not ovulating mature eggs). To help reduce some of the symptoms of PCOS, I began South Beach (which I LOVE) and I have lost over 43 lbs. Depends on what I ate the night before will depend on my weight loss. But that was the first line of defense for me- the dr said lose weight so I have- womb is still empty. WTH? But anyway- can't say I didn't try!
We are currently at the Jones Institute for Reproductive Medicine. I love my drs.- well some of them anyway. But they are super knowledgeable and have said their job is to get me pregnant- anyone who says that and can also accomplish it- gets a prize!! We have had other testing in the past few months- I had an HSG (which I don't know the whole name) which is where they shoot dye into the uterus and fallopian tubes to make sure everything is clear and there are no blockages- I got a perfect A+ (ALL CLEAR)! Bobby also had a sperm analysis which he did well too. He was "normal" and deserves an A as well. He has a good sperm count and morphology. Thank God- one less thing we didn't have to throw into the mix.
I are taking Clomid , Metformin (to help with the PCOS insulin resistance), baby aspirin, B12, Folic Acid, prenatals, Ovidrel (a trigger shot to make me ovulate), and Progestrone this cycle. We also did IUI (interuterine insemination) last Friday. Maybe we'll be like Jon and Kate plus 8?? She has PCOS and did IUI.... only time will tell
cause I am officially in part duex of my 2ww (2 week wait). Which means I have one more week until I can test to see if I am pregnant. So fingers crossed and lots of sprinkles of babydust or magic or whatever that will or can knock me up.
I promise to get some pretty stuff on here too pretty soon, just wanted to get this up and going. Oh I got my title from all the inconsiderate people that are fertile that have said to me "it'll happen when you least expect it" Well at this point every month I least expect it so will it happen NOW? How about now? Ahhh... the life of being infertile and the waiting that goes along with TTC.