Friday, September 19, 2008

Big Girls Don't Cry


or maybe they do!
Cause whoever came up with that saying never experience infertility and those words when you wake up. It might as well say, "You are wasting your money, dumbass", "Maybe it is time to relax and not try so hard", or "Start looking into adoption". That's the slap in the face I feel every time I pee on one of those sticks. Yet even though I knew that I wasn't pregnant, I can always hold out hope until I see those words and let it slap me around like a ho that hasn't paid her pimp. What a roller coaster ride!!! This TTC one sucks ass and I am over it! I want the one that results in pregnancy! Where is that line?
This was by far the most expensive cycle so far while TTC. So I felt like I was doubly slapped. I mean how can IUI not work? The sperm are right there!!! Kiss my ass infertility!!
So what's next you say? I call Monday and set up an end of cycle u/s to check for cysts and see what Dr Never Smiles says let's do. Let's see if cycle #17 is lucky....
For now I will go sulk somewhere and pout and cry!

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Ugh. I am soo sorry. ((hug)) Just sucks, really really sucks. :-(

Cynthia said...

I'm sorry Courtney...I will keep you in my prayers. I hope that you get your BFP soon.

Alexa said...

I know exactly what you mean. It's the same as when you were single and people kept telling you, oh don't worry someone will come along - except with infertility, there's not a million different options. I know people will say it's well-meant, but honestly, I think it's borderline insensitive because it's over-simplifying an issue that is as complex medically as it is emotionally. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! :)

Hugs, Alexa

http://sojournergirl.blogspot.com/

Kate said...

(((BIG HUGS)))

Sarah said...

Hey thanks for stopping by my blog. =) Hope you get your BFP really soon.