This is me- trying to climb the TTC mountain just to have a little baby to hold!! So far there have been no stairs to help me for even a minute!! Nothing has been handed to me- so I know that I will only love this child (or children) I receive all the more!! (Trying to be positive)
I went yesterday to the RE and we discussed my HSG. I see what she saw and I understand now. I thought when they showed it to me the day of the HSG that one side looked different than the other, but who am I to question? They are the professionals in this area. The HSG was performed by a fellow and she did say that the tubes were "all clear", which is correct. She did not discuss the shape of my uterus though and did say that Dr Never Smiles would take a look at it though and review it with me. I should have know then. I digressed again.... so Dr Never Smiles showed me where the top right portion of my uterus is "asymmetrical". She is very considered and wants to know what is making the protrusion, me too btw. She is wondering if that is what is causing the m/cs as well as us not implanting. She did an super long u/s and since I am having AF (Aunt Flo or menstruation) and the uterine lining is very thin, it is hard to see what is going on. She did find some Fibroids there and is kinda certain that those might be culprits. I will have the Laparoscopy and the Hysteroscopy sometime in the next few weeks.
I pulled out my tears and said the scheduling lady said Dr Never Smiles wasn't available until Nov. 12. And she was like, "I'll take care of that!" YAY for tears! I questioned the whole- what if my body decides to O (ovulate) on it's own this month? Dr Never Smiles said it would be ok, I said do we really want a chance of that if we don't know what is going on? So she said "Do you want bc pills?" I asked if it would affect the injectables timing after the surgery and she said no.I also don't want a long ass cycle which can and would happen to me with PCOS. I started BC pills last night!! I know it sounds weird but it will give me a month to get myself together and give me a break before we TTC again. Need I remind you that I hate PCOS??
So new issue- Fibroids! I would have never guessed or imagined that! I am hoping through all of this that I am getting one step closer to having a baby (or babies). I have my fingers crossed for a surgery in the next 28 days- (bc pills gotta love knowing it will be on time) and then a "clean bill of health" for my new uterus and freshly hormoned ovaries. Not terribly bad news yesterday, not good news either, but I am taking it all in stride. After the surgery then I am hoping that means a BABY!
I am offically on a TTC break- well kinda! At least a mental health break! During this time I am going to focus on "relaxing" and "not trying" maybe next month well be pregnant!