I have a lot of things on my brain lately.
Before my next OB appt I have to decide if I want to do a blood panel of tests. I go back and forth on having these tests done. I have read there are a lot of false positives especially with the Downs test. And we agree that we won't terminate the pregnancy even if there is something genetically wrong. We talked about this when we went through the fertility testing, what if there were multiple multiples. We decided no selective reduction either- who am I to chose if a baby should live? So I still haven't fully decided on these tests as does it matter? No. But then should I know so we could be prepared? I don't know.
What about daycare? Should I stay home? Should I work part-time? What? I know this is only a decision we can make, but it plays on my mind daily. Will I be able to leave my babies to go back to work? I always have thought I am the type of woman that would work after motherhood, but will I be able to? When should I try to go back after the babies are born?
One of the biggest thoughts right now- is this weight gain. I know, I know, I am suppose to be gaining weight. But as a woman we are told, "Don't gain weight".... "Don't get fat." And right now the needle on the scale keeps going up and I am unable to control it and it does bother me cause I worked my ass off to lose weight and now here I am just gaining it back. I eat healthy and I am still exercising, but the needle keeps on sliding up.....
What kind of car seats should we get that we will get the most use out of? What about strollers that we can have for a few years? What about breastfeeding? What if I can't breastfeed? What kind of bottles should we get? How should we decorate the nursery (cause I found out the other night we have completely opposite ideas of what we should do)?
I can't even think of all the things now....
I am happy to be in the second trimester. The nausea has slowed some and I feel better. I look more like I have been eating donuts heavily instead of looking pregnant, however I do know that once I "look" pregnant, I will look pregnant for a long time!
If I could only relax my mind.