I have a lot of things on my brain lately.
Before my next OB appt I have to decide if I want to do a blood panel of tests. I go back and forth on having these tests done. I have read there are a lot of false positives especially with the Downs test. And we agree that we won't terminate the pregnancy even if there is something genetically wrong. We talked about this when we went through the fertility testing, what if there were multiple multiples. We decided no selective reduction either- who am I to chose if a baby should live? So I still haven't fully decided on these tests as does it matter? No. But then should I know so we could be prepared? I don't know.
What about daycare? Should I stay home? Should I work part-time? What? I know this is only a decision we can make, but it plays on my mind daily. Will I be able to leave my babies to go back to work? I always have thought I am the type of woman that would work after motherhood, but will I be able to? When should I try to go back after the babies are born?
One of the biggest thoughts right now- is this weight gain. I know, I know, I am suppose to be gaining weight. But as a woman we are told, "Don't gain weight".... "Don't get fat." And right now the needle on the scale keeps going up and I am unable to control it and it does bother me cause I worked my ass off to lose weight and now here I am just gaining it back. I eat healthy and I am still exercising, but the needle keeps on sliding up.....
What kind of car seats should we get that we will get the most use out of? What about strollers that we can have for a few years? What about breastfeeding? What if I can't breastfeed? What kind of bottles should we get? How should we decorate the nursery (cause I found out the other night we have completely opposite ideas of what we should do)?
I can't even think of all the things now....
I am happy to be in the second trimester. The nausea has slowed some and I feel better. I look more like I have been eating donuts heavily instead of looking pregnant, however I do know that once I "look" pregnant, I will look pregnant for a long time!
If I could only relax my mind.
4 comments:
Big hugs, Courtney! I know you will make great decisions. It's good that you're thinking of all of this stuff - it's just what you're supposed to do! I hope you'll keep us informed with what you decide and how everything is going!
Look at the weight this way - gaining means growing babies, which means healthy babies!
I didn't do the testing. Most insurance companies don't even cover the AFP test anymore. We felt the same way as you two. If you can't breastfeed, you pump and feed with bottles. Avent bottles are great and no nipple confusion switching between breast and bottle. As for the weight.. Yay for growing babies and once your breastfeeding or pumping, the weight will melt off anyway.. As for the nursery, I can't help you there. As for work, you will just know what is right when the time comes to really make that decision. Anyway, Much Love to you and the babies...
AW! Your mind works like mine does. These answers will come to you. Fortunately, you don't have to have it all figured out right now. As far as the testing goes, that's a tough call. I'd like to get the testing done so we're prepared if the baby needs additional care. But I don't want to think/worry about it the entire pregnancy either. Go with what your heart tells you.
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