Saturday came like Doomsday... I woke up crying (not that I slept well anyway)... cried when the Bobby's best friend's wife and daughter arrived to take care of the girls for us... cried on the way.. cried while we waited for them to clean the room... cried as my Reese pooped on the floor in the waiting room...cried when the stupid vet assistant asked me his name so she could run a stool sample...cried as I signed some paperwork about it being humane... cried as they asked if I wanted him cremated and remains returned... cried as I held my doggy's head as he took his last breath... I just cried....
My first baby with my human babies
Look at that gentle dog giving that "baby kisses" - people have ran from him LOL!
I am mad now... mad at myself for putting Reese "to sleep" (who the hell coined that term anyway- he isn't asleep), mad I didn't say I wasn't ready and just let it go at that, mad I let my family and Bobby tell me "it is time"... mad at the vet who didn't have anything left for us to try... I am just plain MAD.
In the same breath.. I am sadder than I think I have ever been in my life. Sadder than losing 2 pregnancies... sadder than losing my grandparents, sadder than I ever thought possible... I didn't lose "just a dog", I lost my best friend, a family member, someone that I took care of, my baby, MY REESE!
Just can't stop crying... can't stop thinking about him.. missing him...sad I can't let him back in from the backyard...sad when I went to put water in his bowl this morning only to remember his bowl was gone...sad that my heart is broken and there is a piece that will forever be missing...
I MISS YOU Reese MORE than you'll ever know!!! I love you Reese! Thank you for 12 great years! You're the most awesome dog! All dogs go to Heaven and when I get there- I can't wait to pet you again! Our house is empty without you! Love you Reese!
1 year ago