Last night after we cut off the lights and tv, Bobby said "Do you really want another baby? Cause I am really happy with the 2 we do have. If we are then we need to get going, I guess."
I said "Yes of course I do. I always wanted 3 kids", he said "I will do whatever you want, but I think 2 is plenty. We will never have anything if we have another. I am content. It is all I can do to make it work with the 2 we have."
My solution: "I will give up something" Bobby asked me what can I give up? I don't know, I already am the
I sent Bobby a text message today about and the response was "This is not a texting conversation. I will go out to dinner with you and discuss it because I want to concentrate on you, the discussion, and what is said." So I guess case closed until we get to go out to eat... which we haven't done by OURSELVES since October, so I wonder when we will go...
So the plan was:
1. Go off BC next month (June)
2. Have Dr up my Metformin to 1000 mg (what I was taking at Jones, currently I am on 500 mg)
3. Do progesterone suppositories (I think I took 2 a day at the Jones)
4. Try for 6 months at the most and if no BFP wrap it up and call it done and It is the way it is meant to be AND sell ALL the baby stuff overtaking my attic
That's it. Nothing more than that. NO stimming ovaries, NO Clomid, NO Follistim, NOTHING!
Bobby has stressed on numerous occasions that he is scared that we will miscarry again. He can't take losing another baby or watch me go through that pain again. I understand that, I do. I don't know how I would feel if we lost another baby, but I survived it 2 times, so I could survive again. It would suck though for sure.
Also, not having a sibling for the girls is NOT as devastating as the thought of never having a child of our own ever. They have each other. I thought when I found out it was twins, YES, we will never have to go through treatments again. I can promise I won't go through treatments again. I can't do it... the hot flashes, the time, the hormones, the sticks, the blood draws, the u/s... I can't. I don't have time now and like I said, not having a sibling for them is different for me.
I want a 3rd baby, but I will be ok if we don't have one. But I think if we don't even try I will always wonder. Does that make sense?
PS- At work so no new pics of girls on this computer, sorry.